Wednesday, December 3, 2008

ThRowe Down at the Crow's Nest and Auburn Fuzeball

Look at Trent (AKA Sea Biscuit) dropping dope, Caucasian moves like it's going out of style....and yes, that's me with the "To Catch a Predator", creepy smile in the background:



We had a lot of fun. Sea Biscuit threw out his back like six times. Lucky for him, the girls at the club were giving him plenty of room to recover!!! Ha Ha Ha!!

Auburn Football- where do I start? If you were my girlfriend, I would screen your calls and tell you that you look fat in those jeans...really fat, chunk. If you were my Labrador, I would put peanut butter on the top of your nose just out of reach from your tongue. If you were a morning commuter trying to merge into my lane, I would look down at my radio and act like I was changing stations so as to not make eye contact with you, denying you merging privileges.

Here are some observations from my unedumacated eye on what went wrong in '08:
1) Pre-game video blew: We might as well run out to Hannah Montana. What the crap was that Auburn Athletic Department? This would be an upgrade to our pre-game intro next year:



2) Not enough tats on our o-lineman. I need an offensive lineman with a lot of tats (see Lee Ziemba). Where are the ink jobs Auburn Tigers? RIP Pookie Bear, Hot 2 Trott 2 Quick 4 U. Slippery When Wet. South Side Riders. Anything?! Just give me some gnarly tats on the big uglies!


If this guy's liver can take it, maybe we can get him to roll with the Tigas in '09!


3) The name Kodi does not strike fear in anyone- everyone I know named Kodi has a trustfund and makes fun of me for taking first dates to The Sizzler, an upscale resteraunt here in Nashville. Give me a Dameyune, Jason, or Patrick anyday of the week. These are names of champions!

4) Satan, The Prince of Darkness, is an Alabama booster. Everytime Alabama wins a game, Satan tortues a kitty. After Alabama's Iron Bowl win, Beelzebub pushed an orphan down a flight of stairs and had a celebratory beverage with Saddam Hussein. We can't win against such inhumanity. Auburn only represents Popcorn, unicorns, and bubblegum- not the downfall of all mankind.

Got to run Roweoholics. Catch ya later!